There's a Girl that I know that's breaking me apart.
I've kept telling her to be quiet, to hush, that she isn't welcome in my life anymore, but she kept showing up on my doorstep. I've been ignoring her pounding and her pleading to let her in from the cold and rain, but now she's become crafty and has broken through the glass and unbolted the lock with her bruised and battered hands.
She's standing before me, wild-eyed, her chest heaving, her movements frantic, her voice haggard from the sobbing and screaming she's been doing for the past three years.
She's grabbing me by the shoulders and shaking me and refuses to let go until I hear her out. And two of the people that I love most in the world are standing behind her, nodding their heads, telling me that yes, I need to listen to her and then I need to put on my shoes and go with her.
"You have nothing to lose", they keep saying. "Go, go with her. We'll take care of what you have to leave in order to do it, but you need to go".
"But the pieces", I keep saying, "the pieces". The pieces of me that will be shattered into a million fragments if this doesn't end well, what will I do with them, I need them to exist and function and maintain.
"We'll pick them up", they reply, "But you have to do this and take this chance. Because if you don't, those pieces that you are so afraid of breaking, they are going to break little by little each day, and those shards, those will be the ones that kill you".
"Now go. Prepare yourself and start getting your things together and go with this Girl".
And this Girl, this Girl standing in front of me, eyes pleading and hand outstretched; I'm reaching out to the mirror before me and I'm taking her hand.
And this Girl and I, we are going to be running. Running to a church that as of today is 36 days of travel ahead of us, where the Boy is also journeying to. And we're going to somehow find him before he arrives there, and we are going to tell him things that have gone unsaid for too long and we are going to take our mutual heart in our trembling hands and place it before him and tell him it was his all along.
And we're going to beg him not to go into that church where he's planning to marry someone else and beg him to choose us, his former best friend and his daughter instead.
And no matter how it ends, absolutely no matter how it ends, Girl and I will know that we've done all that we could. And Girl promises that once she's secure in this knowledge, she'll leave me alone.
"But I might miss you," I said, "if you leave".
"I've been leaving all along", she said, "and I'm ready for this goodbye. And so are you".
So, at some point within the next weeks that pass, Girl and I are going to walk out my broken front door together and go to the place that scares me the most in this world.
And only one of us is coming back.