Sunday was the day.The day that he was supposed to come here. The day that the boxes on the calendar had slowly been ticking down to. The day that Girl was going to remove the albatross from her neck and swim freely away, wave diving until she reached her destination. Except he didn't show. Again. And this time, Girl wasn't sitting on the porch, waiting until it was dark, letting hope linger until it was simply too late for anymore headlights to go by. Girl and I spent the day remembering what it was that we had loved so dearly about Boy. His friendship. There are things you expect of lovers. Lovers might up and leave when you find that, somehow, beyond belief, you are carrying their child within you. Lovers might slip away in the dark of the night and not be heard from again. Friends? Those are not things you expect of friends. His companionship. His companionship? Or companionship in general?The way he made me laugh. Remember, that day, on your knees, in the hospital chapel? When Little A quit breathing again and they pushed you out of the room? When you weren't sure you'd ever smile again, let alone laugh? Where was he, then, exactly? He was on a boat, laughing, in the sun, with a different girl, getting sunburned and ignoring the calls of Little A's godfather, telling him to get to the hospital to give blood for a transfusion. His loyalty. Really? I said that? I thought that?I loved him. I did. But I don't anymore. I love Little A. And I love Big A. And, finally, I think I love myself enough to let go of what once was (or wasn't) and look face first to what lies ahead. Because, honestly, for the first time in a long time, I think it's good. I smiled wistfully when I hugged Girl, breathing deeply to take her in one last time. Then I let her go, and watched until she was out of sight. I'm sure she's where she wanted to be, dancing in a roofless bar, stars above her. That's where she belongs. And I'm where I want to be. Here and now, stars above me as well. It's just taken me a long time to see that while Girl and I share the same sky, we don't need to share the same sun. Goodbye, Girl.