04 September 2007

Tooth Fairies and Pixie Dust

Big A lost a tooth tonight.

Not a milestone of gigantic proportions, to be certain. Not her first, not her last, but this one, this one was tricky.

For the last tooth she lost was a couple of years ago. And back then, the Tooth Fairy came sweeping through her window at night, leaving behind pixie dust and letters written in the colors of the rainbow. Back then, Big A definitely believed in magic and fairies and pixie dust.

We all know what can happen to some beliefs over the period of time, within the passing of hours, and weeks, within moments and months, let alone the period of two years. And let's not forget, Big A isn't your average nine year old. She's nine, going on older and wiser than me.

I sent a text to her dad, "What do we do"? And when he didn't respond in the time I deemed appropriate, which was about, oh, 19 seconds, I decided to veer out on my own.

"Huh, I wonder if the Tooth Fairy knows that we moved"? So tricky, this humble servant.

"Um, probably, since people move all. the. time". Eyebrow raised, probably wondering how the hell she got so smart coming from my womb.

"Mom, I do wonder something though". My heart swooping, I was careful to turn and look into the cupboard, busying my face so that she couldn't watch it fall.

"If I don't write a letter to the Tooth Fairy, do you think they'll still write one to me"?

"Probably, Big A. I mean, who knows, she might be really busy now, but I'm sure she probably will."

"Why do you think it's a She?"


"Why do you think it's a She? I mean, it could be a He, right?" Her smart ass grin lingering, clearly enjoying posing a question I'd never thought of.

I looked at her for a few seconds, and then said, "I don't know. Maybe."

She smirked and flounced up the stairs to the shower while I wrote a few letters from the Tooth Fairy to Big A in my mind:

Dear Big A,

Seriously? You thought I could be a man? Do you know any men that know where Jo Ann Fabrics is located? Let alone where the hell the pixie dust is located within that store?

Jesus. Here's your dollar. If you're going to spend it all in one spot, may I suggest it be on helping to pay for the removal of the dagger from my heart.

The Tooth Fairy


Dear Big A,

A Man? You thought I could be a man? Hello? Your letters have been laced with ribbon and painted with glitter, on painfully chosen paper, not grease stained from hot dogs and bearing rings from beer bottles, scribbled on the back of fast food bags.

And I didn't sign them, "Go Team".

And they were written in pastel. In calligraphy.

You're smart, you can do the math.

Love (grudgingly),
The Tooth Fairy


And here is the note that Big A will actually be getting:

Dear Big A,

Wow! I haven't collected one of your teeth in a long time! It took me a minute to find your new house, but I'm so glad that I did.

You're getting so big I can hardly believe it. I bet a lot of things have changed for you since I last saw you sleeping. Not much has changed for me, except now I'm using a computer to type my letters instead of writing them all by hand. I can't believe how much time it saves!

Remember that tooth that you lost playing soccer? I still have that one on a special shelf. There were three other kids since you that lost them during a soccer game, so their teeth are up there, too.

And now you've lost a tooth on the first day of the Fourth Grade, and on the same day that you finally got your back hand-spring. I don't think there will be many other kids that will have a tooth on that shelf.

It was good to see you again, Big A. I'm sure I'll be back soon~you're getting to the point of losing a few more teeth.

And, just so that you know, I love how smart and funny you are~but I really hope you were just giving your mom a hard time when you asked her if I was a boy. You didn't really think that I could be a boy, right?

I mean, how many boys do you know that wear skirts and carry pixie dust and sparkling wands?

The Tooth Fairy


What can I say? I'm a Servant, not a Saint.


Her Grace said...

I love it! And I'm thrilled she still believes. Magic is just too important to let go of so easily.

AmandaD said...

To pixie dust and fairy tales, they really do exist.

bubandpie said...

The Tooth Fairy never left any notes for ME.

I'm starting to get suspicious.

InTheFastLane said...

Nothing like a smart ass tooth fairy :) Dash (at 8) is still trying to figure out how Santa lives at the North Pole with all the new geography he now knows. But, I think he is still choosing to believe.

Lawyer Mama said...

I love, love, LOVE that the TF writes her letters. I'm totally going to steal that.

And WAY TO GO on the back handspring, Big A!

bgirl said...

hysterical, i love the letter(s) in your head...so familiar!

so...do boys have tooth fairy's too????

BetteJo said...

Wow, so sweet! I was never that creative. I reached under the pillow, swiped the tooth and replaced it with a dollar. Woo. Hoo. A letter?
Laced with ribbon and done in calligraphy and sprinkled with pixie dust?
What wonderful memories you are creating!!

bgirl said...

okay, one more...i'm seriously crackin' up on my couch about..
"you thought i could be a man?"

you think a man knows where to find pixie dust! soooo damn funny!
LOL in seattle!

crazymumma said...

I am still reeling from the Girl posts and now you blow me out of the water with this.

I cry Uncle.

I hope she spends her dollar in the manner she wishes!

Christine said...

i could kiss you for this.

this post was beautiful, creative, funny, and touching. another winner, dear.

flutter said...

You are so hysterical.

zellmer said...

Hip hip hooray on the back handspring.

Or, should I say, "Go team!"

Colleen said...

I love your the first "in your mind" letters. But, the real letter... priceless. I know I already have a mom... and I'm kinda old... but will you be my mom too?

painted maypole said...

will your tooth fairy come to my house and leave letters when the time comes? what a lucky girl, that Big A

Came over here via Lawyer Mommy, and recognized your picture from all over the blogosphere! (in the comments of so many blogs I read, too) Glad to have found you.

Major Bedhead said...

Bwaaaahahaha! I love the first letters, though. Snarky McSnarkypants.

I never got notes from the Tooth Fairy. Just a quarter. Of course, my tooth fairy visited during the Carter Administration and there was that big recession. Still, you'd think she could conjure up a bit of paper and a pen. Hmph.

Joy, of course said...

Giggle. You are the coolest mom evah!

jen said...

here's to finding magic everywhere we can. lovely post.

slouching mom said...

this was awesome.

there are no letters from tooth fairies 'round here.

just the cold cash.

Anonymous said...

"I mean, how many boys do you know that wear skirts and carry pixie dust and sparkling wands?"

Do you mean how many straight men? Maybe the tooth fairy is a gay man or a cross dresser. Hopefully, she won't come up with those, yet.

When my middle one was younger she wrote the tooth fairy a letter demanding her tooth back, because she didn't feel she got enough money for her tooth. I still have the letter. What a turd!

Jacquie said...

TF letter way cool!! Wish I had thought of that one way back when lol.

The 1st 2 letters rotflmao, you have good imagination!

justabeachkat said...

Very cute post. Fun to read.


jeanie said...

ha ha ha - once my daughter hoped that the tooth fairy would leave her a note - so TF dutifully complied - only to hear "I meant a money note"

However, in our last move TF was busted as the supply of teeth was discovered.

Maggie said...

Cute. I'm glad she still believes to -- holding on to the magic of youth for a while longer. Slugger lost a tooth this summer and I had no idea if he believed or not. I just went along with it as if he did, but still wasn't sure if he was just playing along. But the next morning, when he found 4 quarters, he was completely wide-eyed. He believed and I was so glad!

bjover said...

u crack me up Jenn :-D

i like the first letter u thought of. It made me laugh

Lauren said...

A friend of mine was told by her son who was 7 (I believe) at the time that he heard that the tooth fairy now gives gifts. All I want to know is what parent ruined it for the rest of us.

I plan on giving the shiny gold dollar coins. Since us regular humans couldn't get something like that. Only the tooth fairy can get gold coins....

MP said...

WTF? I didn't know the tooth fairy wrote letters? I never got one! Maybe she didn't like me :-(

Santa does though, he ate my cookies!

Crow said...

Wow...wants to pluck her eyebrows...but still believes in the tooth fairy...what a great kid! :)

carrie said...

I hope she saves those letters forever.

What a gift you're giving her, well - that and keeping her imagination alive! It is so important, no matter how old you are!

Janet said...

I love that you are keeping the magic alive. No hot grease and beer rings?

You crack me up!

Sarcasta-Mom said...

That was too sweet. Now I feel bad about just leaving the dollar, no note, no pixie dust.

I'm glad that your pixie still carries a little magic in her heart.

KC said...

Totally sweet. Sweet, you.

Anonymous said...

I had forgotten (how?) that the way you express yourself, even about everyday or mundane circumstances, is not only amusing but often inspiring to the point of moving me to tears.

NO!!! It isn't because I wish I could have received just a fraction of the love you have for Big A from my own mother.

Everyday i know you, you amaze me.

ALM said...

YOu know, you could hire yourself out as a professional Tooth Fairy Letter Writer! That was great!

Jen M. said...

Oh - the magic of the tooth fairy is alive and well at your house!

Jen M. said...

I used to write letters from the T.F. to my girls until Chloe told me we had the same handwriting. Doh!

Angela said...

How sweet. I only got money from the tooth fairy. Letters are a great idea.

Aimee said...

So freaking hilarious! Our TF should copy your letters since our TF just annoyingly reminds the kids to brush and floss - and not even on any pretty paper. One letter was on the back of a brown paper bag. Lordy!

Keep on writing, TF :)

Seattle Mamacita said...

i just love reading your stuff jenn what a crack up. i've been reading just not commenting as i've started back teaching booo!!! i actually saw a kid's play where the toothfairy was a boy who owned a tooth factory but don't tell A though :)

Blog Antagonist said...

SIGH...a lot of the magic has gone from my boys' lives. They are too savvy, too cool. Too concerned with the business of growin up. I miss it. Keep it going as long as you can.

I loved all the letters.

Single Mom Seeking said...

Love it, too! This is classic. Thanks so much for this.

On our single mama front, my girl just lost her first top tooth this summer. She left a note for the Tooth Fairy that said exactly this: "Do NOT leave money. I want Heelies."

Wayfarer Scientista said...

Laugh! Oh, I used to be terrified of the tooth fairy, I always insisted on sleeping in the other room when she was to visit.

Amy York said...

That was just adorable!

urban-urchin said...

you are a really cool mom.

Kelly said...

I love those letters, both the mentally composed and the real one.

Congrats on the backhandspring. Took me forever to get that trick down.