11 July 2007


In the spirit of community building and raising awareness, I'd like to offer this post.

It's a small suggestion, but that's the beauty of it--it's doable. It's achievable. It's something you can tell yourself, "I'm going to do this today" and actually do. And it doesn't involve treadmills, aerobics or only eating healthy foods and it doesn't exclude chocolate from your life in any way.

Just for one day, refrain from criticizing your fellow womankind.

Oh, you can go ahead and think whatever you want--we're human, we can't stop that part. Just don't let it slip from your lips and into the ears of someone else.

Pretend, before you make that comment about that woman that you don't know or that woman that you do know, that she is standing before you, looking into your eyes.

What do you think you'd see there?

I think you'd see humanity.

I think you'd see flaws.

I think you'd see happiness and pain and a mixture of many things.

I think you'd see clouds of a past that would take a lifetime to become clear.

I think you'd see a girl on a swing, kicking with all her might, head tipped back, hair flying in the breeze she's creating, legs propelling her forward, closer to all the possibilities that are open to her.

I think you'd see a woman crying, wishing that she were once again that girl.

I think you'd see confidence, but you are unaware of what it's taken her to finally feel that way.

I think you'd see insecurity. It's there, I know it is. You know it's there, too.

I think you'd see hesitation and doubt and warmth and compassion and a heart broken more than once.

Mostly, I think you would see yourself looking back at you.

And I wish, that in that moment, in that reflection, that you would remember that if you can see yourself in another, we are all the same.

And I wish that you would take that realization and treat her as you would like to be treated. You would say things of her that you would like said of you, or you would say nothing at all.

Then go home and get in front of your mirror and take a good long look into your eyes.

Look harder.

See, I told you.

She's there, isn't she?

Are you able to look back into her eyes, or do you have to look away?


It's your world, people.

Why not make it a Utopian one?


Jonas said...

I surely do enjoy your blog, Jenn. I surely do.

Oh, The Joys said...

We are so very hard on each other we women. It is true.

Great thinking!

KC said...

"I think you'd see a girl on a swing, kicking with all her might, head tipped back, hair flying in the breeze she's creating, legs propelling her forward, closer to all the possibilities that are open to her."

I see this. She's all of us.

jen said...

you know, i went to burning man a few years ago and had a utopian experience. the code of ethics require you offer what you have, you share everything, you are kind no matter what (i realize that not everyone may do this but i had such a consistently positive experience it did happen that way for me) where there could be discord, there was harmony. help instead of seperation. joy and sharing instead of turning away.

and five days later 9/11 happened.

and your post reminded me of that and all of what could be possible if we simply chose yes instead of no.

Jen M. said...

I really liked this post. You hit a chord with me, and with a lot of other women out there, I'll bet.

JMA said...


How can we be each others' best friends, and, at times, worst enemies? I would go crazy without my female friends. They complete me.

bgirl said...

great post. a thoughtful reminder of the importance of sisterhood.

Ally said...

Very good post, Jenn, and very sound advice.

Crow said...

While it will be very difficult to do, I will do my best to follow your advice. It is definitely something I could work on to make me a better person!

bjover said...

This is a good idea Jenn, things like this dont happen enough thats for sure

T with Honey said...

Amen, Sister!!!

And such beautiful imagery. Your high school English teacher would be proud.

In the Trenches of Mommyhood said...

Great reminder to cease the snarking! Guilty as charged.

InTheFastLane said...

As hard as we are on other women, I think we are often even harder on ourselves and it is this insecurity that leads us to be not so nice. I will certainly be more aware today. Thank you.

slouching mom said...

Lovely, Jenn.

And very sound advice.

Seattle Mamacita said...

nice post jenn. lots of lovely words and images.

flutter said...

This was amazing, Jenn. I love the way that brain of yours works

Stu said...

This post has been nominated by our readers over at GNMParents for Hot Stuff Of The Week! Congrats on the nomination and good luck in the voting!

Shawn said...

Great post! Can we still bash men, though? 'Cause I need that to survive. : )

luckyzmom said...


Brought me to tears. You are amazing and I love you!