12 July 2007

Absolutely Useless Information (That I'm Packaging as a Post)

A tantalizing peek into the life of this servant:

(I'd like to think that I'd written something much more creative had I not been slaving over a "guest post**" for someone, but really, I'm feeling sort of well, blog-over today. You know, when you've had too much to think and you're trying to recall all the things you said you wouldn't forget the evening/weeks before?)

I woke up at 4:02. I cursed when I looked at the alarm, because I knew that I wasn't going back to sleep. I noted to myself that I wanted to tell Comedy Central that I hate that they keep playing "Girls Gone Wild" ads in the wee hours. I searched for the remote and clicked off the tv and wondered how much electricity is wasted because the tv was on all night .

I read a little (Dorothy Parker "If I had a shiny gun/I could have a world of fun/speeding bullets through the brains/of the folks that bring me pains..")

Meandered down the hall (carefully sidestepping the creaky board that wakes Little A) and into the bathroom. I plucked, sighed and quit pulling my eyebrows upward with my pointer finger, flossed, rinsed and brushed, showered, shampooed, deep conditioned, shaved and lotioned up.

Packed my briefcase:
  • Wallet
  • Lunch (oatmeal and Splenda, vanilla soymilk and veggies)
  • Bills I need to pay
  • Coke Zero
  • Gum
I tossed a couple of items into my internal briefcase:
  • Hope, unbridled and shiny
  • Love, deep and jagged and true
  • Wistfulness, but just a pinch
  • Gratitude, to gently remind me of all that I do have
I let the dogs free into the yard, and recalled the days that they tore blazing down the stairs and felt a pang of sadness when I noted their tentative steps.

"Ghetto" ironed (tossed in the dryer) the clothes I wore today: black slacks, butter yellow cotton mock turtleneck:

Packed Little A's diaper bag and woke her up with a kiss. She said, as she does each morning fresh with sleep in her voice, "Ruby" and looked for the lamb that is as much of a part of her as her blue eyes.

Drove her to the sitter and then into work. Listened to one of my favorite songs THREE times in a row. ("Men weren't meant to ride with clouds between their knees, I'm only a man...")

Sat here, at my desk all morning, writing reports:

Some of the little tidbits that I have hanging by my pictures read:

"Could today be the day"?

"Keep on Moving"


And this:

Then at lunch, I created this pathetic piece of crap which is making me feel guilty because you've just wasted one minute of your life on it post for your reading enjoyment.

And that, my friends, is how a servant spent her morning.

Please tell me you did something much greater than I.

**Check back tomorrow for updates


Her Grace said...

A day in the life...thanks for sharing!

Jonas said...

Well, I spent my time reading your blog. I smiled. It was time well spent. Thank you!

Seattle Mamacita said...

i love the items you tossed into your internal briefcase :)
i wrote you back on my post thanks for thinking of me/(him).

canape said...

I'm impressed with the shower and lotioning part. And that you even consider ironing your clothes :)

bubandpie said...

That graph is sheer brilliance. I've been feeling like a bit of a chump lately because I've been spending so much money on adventures (Hi-5 concert, trip to a local kiddie park, Day Out With Thomas, etc.). They ARE overpriced, but the kids have fun, and it's worth it.

Becc said...

Took the girls to sailing, including a bike that was battled over, went back home, picked the bike up that was such an issue this a.m. (because I found the girls a ride home), went to work and continued the day... Beloved monotony.

Orangeblossoms said...

days like this are the days of our lives, dear. I get it. It's hard to be profound every day-- though this was pretty cool.

slouching mom said...

Ah, but the Dorothy Parker excerpt alone was worth it!

And your internal briefcase. That too.

jen said...

i love a peek into your everyday sort of thing. and the yankees quote...priceless.

InTheFastLane said...

We ghetto iron every morning and I didn't even know it had an official name. Thanks!

bgirl said...

ghetto ironing....hysterical, mostly because i do it, yet didn't know it had a name! :)

i gotta add that i admire your ability to get up despite the ungodly hour. me i'm no good before coffee, so i shower and do all prep the night before so i'm able to go on a bit of autopilot in the am..at least until the first 1/2 cup hits me!

T with Honey said...

I've done plenty of ghetto ironing in my time but now I have a new technique. Every other day I pull out the straightening iron for my hair and if my shirt needs a quick touch up I use that on it. It does a great job on shirt collars and hem lines that want to curl.

mcewen said...

Well you're much better organized than I am.

Rebecca said...

Ghetto ironing is the best! It's the only reason I ever looked decent when I went out. It's only been the last few years that I have taken up conventional ironing!

Ally said...

Don't I wish I had a better report to give, but I can't top yours. I consider this a post worth reading because I learned the term ghetto ironing, if nothing else.

luckyzmom said...

So far, I have swung my feet out of bed and into the tennies I need to wear to prevent pain in my heels (from plantar faciitis),waddled to the toilet, stretched my neck to my chest while peeing, stretched my right ear towards my right shoulder, stretched my left ear towards my left shoulder, turned my head as far to the right as possible and then to the left for a total of 30 times (osteo awtharightis in my 5th vertibrae), flushed, walked to the kitchen, took my little purple pill (Nexium for GERD), made coffee and sat down at the computer.

Now don't you feel a whole lot more accomplished! Have a happy new day!

Major Bedhead said...

That's how my husband irons, too. Wait 'til I tell him. I don't iron, ghetto or otherwise.

I think I'm going to have to read you regularly now. Anyone who hates Bush AND the *spit* Yankees is someone I want to know.