Denied

Dear Mom,

Thank you for your response to our previous denial of your vacation request, and for pointing out that our decision seemed unfair. In the future, if you want your requests to bear more weight, you might consider not writing them on the backs of magazines which bear margarita stains.

When we stated that "due to the high number of vacation applications at this time, we are sorry to inform you that your request has been denied" what we really meant was that we were laughing our asses off so hard that we couldn't think of anything better to say. Please accept this denial which has concise reasons as to why your whining affects us in the least. (And by that, we mean, not at all)

1.) Just one day to sleep in: This "sleeping in" thing is highly over-rated, and is the core of laziness. One day of this sleeping in stuff, and you'll be tempted to do it repeatedly. We're doing this for your own good. Besides, Barney is on very early in the morning.

2.) One day without a diaper to change: Please. You love looking at Little A's bootie, poop or no poop. We all know it.

3.) One day without laundry to do: So that you realize that we are trying to be accommodating to you, you can feel free to not do laundry any day that you so choose. Just be sure to double up the following day. Also, could you be a little quicker with the sock pairing? The pile of socks in the spare laundry basket that you dig through each morning in a panic is getting old. Instead of painting your toe nails (let's face it, who is going to see them?) a much more productive use of your time would be pairing those socks and them putting them away for us.

4.) A pile of books to read through at leisure between cocktails: This request would vary from your average day how?

Thank you again for your request. We do enjoy hearing from those who serve us, even if it is just for comic relief.

The A's