09 March 2009

Hey, Jackass

Yes, you.

You lying little punk who sold me the navy blue paint that was an extra $12, insisting that it would cover in ONE COAT and that it was worth it because I wouldn't need a primer.

"Totally", to quote you as I raised my eyebrow in disbelief.

Guess what?

Yeah, it's three o'clock in the f-ing morning and I have to put on YET ONE MORE coat, which would make it coat FOUR--which would make it three over the "guaranteed" one coat that you sold me.

I hope beyond hope that your ass is working in the morning after I drop off Big A at school.

Because you WILL be looking up that "guarantee" and you will be refunding me my friggin' money, and if there happens to be another chickie-poo in there with a cut-off t-shirt in the dead of winter that causes your eyes and mind to wander while I'm trying to talk to you, I swear that I will smack you with the son-of-a-bitching paint can that I will have in my hand.

And that is a "guarantee".


Osh-Kosh-B'Gosh said...

Holy Crap i thinksomeont needs to calm down.

Crow said...

Oh dear God...I laughed so hard when I read this! You mean that the blonde hair and blue eyes DOESN'T mean you are gullible and will buy anything? Wow...could have fooled me. :)

Jenn said...


Respect your elders. Especially when they haven't slept in 24 hours and are hopped up on paint fumes.


My eyes are green. :)

Crow said...

Whatever...close enough. I guess since we never see each other anymore I can't stare blissfully into those green eyes. :)