25 September 2009

Goodbye, Again

Goodbye Again Jennifer Barko Jessie Serving The Queens
I don't know how to write about today.

If there are words for this kind of sorrow, I've not learned them yet.

I've willed her to go quietly in the night, but the constant companion and faithful friend that she is, she remains. Not who she once was, but still, who is?

I've finally come to a point where I cannot watch the indignity of what is to come any longer and cannot accept the pain in her life to delay pain in mine. Our vet will be here tonight, after her clinic closes, so that Jessie can be home with The Queens and I when she leaves this world and so much of my world leaves me.


Until then, she and I are heading outside and taking in this perfect fall day together like we've done so many times in the past 16 years, slower, with less ground covered, but together, until Goodbye.

14 comments:

Mamma said...

Oh I'm so sorry. That is hard. Very hard.

MileHighDad said...

Beautiful post, enjoy your time as hard as it will be for all it is worth. My heart goes out to you, when I walked in your shoes three years ago it troubled me. My wife had a shadow box box made with Hobie's collar, tags, leash and photos I look at every day. She can never be replaced so I don't even try.

Kathy said...

My thoughts and prayers are with you!

Jennifer said...

Oh Jen...my heart is breaking for you. So very sorry. I know you will cherish this time with your sweet girl.

Meg said...

Oh Jenn. I'm so incredibly sad for you. You can be proud that you're taking her pain away and doing the kind thing, even though it hurts so much. You're doing the right thing for her. But it's still so so sad. My thoughts are with you at this difficult time.

flutter said...

Oh, sweetheart. I love you and I am so sorry for your pain

trampoline design said...

Oh, you. So,so sorry.

someone somewhere said...

i wish i could be there to hold your hand. but know i'm with you in spirit. always. <3

Bean said...

So sorry, Jenn. Wish I could be there to hug you now.

Kat said...

Oh no! So sorry Jenn!

Hugs!
Kat

Mama Goose said...

I'm sorry I'm only seeing this now... but more sorry you're having to deal with the loss of a pup, again, too soon.

Sending you both (all) love and peace...

Just Add Walter said...

my heart is breaking for you....

someone somewhere said...

jenn. it's been OVER a month. and right around "now" feels like it could be a good time to update your blog. and make you sister feel better ... even though we are MILES away. i miss you. just thought i'd let you know. <3

someone somewhere said...

fyi. today is forty days. FORTY. just in case you lost count. i haven't. i've got your back like that, ya know?