09 October 2006

Serving the Queens


There was life before the Queens--I know there was--I have the pictures to prove it.

Before Big A, I had so much free time, I actually looked for things to do and causes to volunteer time to. I played some form of organized sports at least three nights a week, and spent weekends out, with friends, no real worries in the world. I went to the beach with a book and a towel, not a shelf from the toy section at K-Mart.

Before Little A, I still had a couple of weekends a month to myself, and I spent them lounging around bookstores for hours, spending my disposable income, visiting friends, going to Michigan football games and sleeping all day on the couch if I wanted to.

I wouldn't trade one minute of my life now to revisit any of those days. I'd never give up the magic laundry pile (it keeps growing, no matter what I do), the cracker crumbs in my car, missing socks, homework reviews, dirty diapers or the sheer exhaustion I feel at the end of the day, because it means that I wouldn't have "group hugs", construction christmas cards, open mouth kisses, "chunky chunkers", skinny butts, or moments on the couch, where, for just one minute, I could actually hold both of my girls against my chest and breathe them in.

None of my life before Big and Little A meant much; each second of my life now means everything. Hail to the Queens.

4 comments:

BECC said...

JENN- I KNOW YOU FEEL THIS AND YOU WANT SO BADLY TO BELIEVE IT AND I KNOW MOST OF THE TIME THAT YOU DO, BUT I SO LONG FOR THAT SPARK BACK IN YOUR EYE, THAT SMILE ON YOUR FACE, THE SAD WORDS TO BE ERASED AND REPLACED WITH HAPPY ONES. WE TRULY ENJOYED OUR TIME TOGETHER THIS WEEKEND JENN. PLEASE KNOW THAT I AM HERE FOR YOU. ALWAYS! AND I SO! WANT YOU TO BE HAPPY! I LOVE YOU....

Lauren said...

All hail the queens! he he

I think, for me anyway, that even when I am going through something difficult that I know as long as I have my daughter it will all be ok someday. That she is all that really matters even if I feel sad during the day. I can think of a couple periods of time that she is what got me through. It sounds like your girls do that for you also.

I hope you are able to move past the "ugly" men and find happiness in that part of your life also.

mamalang said...

Beautiful post.

Her Grace said...

You have something really, really special in those two. You're right to cherish them.

That said, I don't think your life before was unimportant. It WAS important, it just has a different focus now.