Location: The kitchen in the castle
Hour: Too damn early
Scene: Servant cooking breakfast, Big A on throne
Servant hands Big A platter, continues cooking reserve food for squirrels living in walls (another post) to gnaw on, gagging on smoke from sausage permeating the air
Big A: Actually, do you have some peppermint?
Servant: Peppermint? Like candy peppermint?
Big A (eyebrows arched, puzzled look on face): You know, pep-per-mint? Like peppermint oil?
Servant: No, fresh out of that.
Big A: Oh, because Mr. N told us that peppermint stimulates the brain.
Big A: Is this soy milk?
Servant: Nope, that is milk straight from a poor, tortured cow on a dairy farm.
Big A: OK. This is good. (Takes another bite of waffle with whipped cream and
syrup on top)
Big A: Wait. Does this have sugar in it?
Servant (already missing the warmth from basking in Big A's compliment, warily):
Big A: Because Mr. N said that sugar actually de-stimulates the brain.
Servant: So does death.
Big A (nods head, unamused at witty, non-peppermint stimulated comment from servant): So there is sugar in it?
Scene closes, Servant noting to self that she must find subtle way to suggest less emphasis on nutrition, more emphasis on "Algebra for Idiot Servants" cheat-sheets to teacher, Mr. N., at parent-teacher conference. Oh, and buy more beer.