23 October 2007

Dear Manny Ramirez

Dear Manny Ramirez,

Tomorrow is busy, busy, busy for me since my mom and sister are going to be in town for the day, so I need to write you this letter now, before the opening game of the World Series.

Please quit being an asshole.

You've single-handedly ruined any joy that I had rooting for the Red Sox. After the Tigers, they were my team. I relished in them beating up on the Yankees and whoever else they were playing, but this last series, thanks to your theatrics and posturing (fine, and the facts that Grady Sizemore is, well, so freaking hot, and my penchant for the underdogs), I was cheering whole-heartedly for the Indians.

I'm still so annoyed with you that I don't really know who I'm cheering for tomorrow. Let's just say I'm leaning towards the Sox because: A.) A bunch of girls I know here in Blogsphere still love the Sox and B.) Curt Schilling.

Obviously, you're talented. Not many yahoo's make the starting line-up for World Series teams. Obviously, you've hit a home run or two in your day, so you don't need to stand at the plate and watch it go out, arms in the air like you've just risen the dead. Put your freaking head down and run, Manny. Show a little class, a little grace, a little (gasp) respect for your opponents. (You know you should have at least been on second with that little ball-off-the-yellow-line-of-the-wall hit)

Also, making a routine fly-ball catch isn't really worthy of theatrics. You're paid like a gazillion dollars to do so, so just do it, and maybe tap your ball-cap or something small. No hand motions or arm-pumps are necessary.

You're a super-talent on a team of your peers, and I don't see them running around acting like idiots every time they hit or field the ball. I just want to sit back and root for the Sox and the American League and feel good about it again, so please, please, quit wrecking it for me.

Thanks,
Jenn

20 comments:

Major Bedhead said...

Y'know, I'm going to have to agree with this letter. This whole Manny being Manny thing is really, really old. And that wall ball pissed me right off. He seems to be showboating more than usual this season. It's not very attractive or very sportsmanlike.

Curt Schilling is all well and good, but Mike Lowell...*drool* And Jacoby Ellsbury, even if he is, like, twelve. He's adorable.

Suz said...

I love the Sox, but...DITTO! And other players need to stop covering him under the "that's just Manny being Manny" heading.

T with Honey said...

I believe that most, if not all of Red Sox Nation is in agreement with you on this. I've heard many similar sentiments on the radio since he made that remark.

Sunshine said...

I can think of some other people that I would love for you to write a "quit being an asshole" letter to!

LOL!!!

jen said...

Amen, Amen, Amen.

stop being a smuck Manny!

justabeachkat said...

Amen!

Hugs!
Kat

amanda said...

I so agree- I used to fine Manny amusing despite him beating my beloved Yankees. However, this year I am routing for the Rockies because they are so much fun....

ALM said...

Amen.

Amy York said...

You sure told him. :)
I hope he was listening...

We are in Rockies country out here... It's crazy in Colorado right now!

flutter said...

hallelujah.

Kellan said...

You're so funny. I no nothing about any of this subject, but as letters go - excellent - should do the trick. See ya.

Trenches of Mommyhood said...

I'm with ya. The line "Manny being Manny" which is WAYYYYY overused here, just doesn't cut it with me. He's a slob. And a tool. Enough already Manny-just play ball.

(Go Sox! It will be a late night in the Trenches tonight. *yawn*)

Tuesday Girl said...

My husband is the biggest red sox fan and he is in heaven.

I can't watch anything where people adjust their gloves 232 times each time at bat.

Lauren said...

He is an ass and I am glad is is not on the Indians team any longer. The funny thing is that when he hit that homerun and threw his arms in the air as if he won the game is that they got crushed that game (if I remember correctly) so his theatrics really looked stupid. Granted in the long run they won the series but still. Plus I just wish he would cut that hair. It was driving me batty.

Mary Beth said...

And let's not forget that just your bat strikes FEAR into the hearts of anyone pitching against you, especially when your buddy ahead of you is hitting ... you don't need all the drama - just hit baby, that's all

MP said...

Amen

KC said...

This isn't Handy Manny, is it? Can you tell I don't follow sports?

Christine said...

i don't watch baseball (i know, i'm a weirdo), but the behavior described is just so annoying and wrong!

lil crow said...

Jenn, you've said it perfectly. I love the Sox, too, but I think I'm actually rooting for the Rockies this series. (To be honest, I just want a GOOD series. . .not looking so good after game 1!) My distaste for the theatrics of Manny Ramirez and company, and the laziness of Magglio Ordonez and others, are rivaling my intense love of baseball. Those two reasons (theatrics and laziness, not Manny and Maggs) are why I don't watch the NFL anymore. I love football. But Manny and company look *ridiculous*. Case and point: T.O. Catch the ball, and shut your mouth please.

Thanks for this post, Jenn. Glad somebody is thinking like me! :)

MommyCosm said...

THANK YOU! You read my mind.
I coach high school softball. The father of one of my girls works for the Red Sox. They are all HUGE fans. I use Manny as an example of how NOT to behave.
I don't care about how much raw talent the guy has.
Manny being Manny = Manny is lazy and arrogant