....But I've got to do it.
I wasn't going to blog about this, citing un-originality and the risk of coming across as holier-than-thou, because if you read my blog, you so know that I'm not.
Yep. It's Britney. I've been guilty of following the sordidness that is her life through on-line entertainment sites and the gossip magazines at the grocery store. You'd probably have to live in a cave to not hear her name at least once a day on reputable news stations. But I'm ending my affair with these sites and publications.
The latest installment which featured her swearing and waving her arms at the cameras disturbed me; it actually caused me to shift in my chair I felt so uncomfortable. And that's when I knew it was over. The sidebars and captions: "Live stream from the courthouse. We'll be there".
"She's been spotted at a parking lot. We are there".
"There are ambulances and police outside her home. We're there".
Waiting for a new sound bite, new footage of her next insane act, lurking in the darkness that surrounds her, blocking any sunshine that might be trying to peep in.
I know how judged and crazy I feel just being around my family in Po-dunk USA for the holidays. How I cringe and murmur to myself, how I pick at my nails and avoid eye contact, how I squirm from the judgment being assessed upon me by those that I know. I don't just come across as a little off-kilter, I act that way because I feel that way. I cannot imagine what I would be like living under the microscope that she does.
In addition to that, her family called Dr. Freaking Phil to "help" her. Jesus. Like the girl didn't have enough issues and problems. If they want to help her, call some soul that has devoted their life to helping people without recognition or financial reward. Start in the non-profit sector. Some person in a state agency whose office light is on well past the time clock. Maybe then she'd stand a chance. Maybe.
I can't help but feel that girl is drowning before our eyes, and that each click of my mouse to TMZ or Perez was just one more wave pushing her down. I won't participate in it anymore, and not by just boycotting her stories, but by boycotting the sites altogether. It sucks. I'll miss them, I love me my celebrity gossip, but I don't think this is gossip; I feel like this is abuse in a grand form, and I won't be a participant to it, no matter how minuscule of a role I play by visiting their sites.
I'm going to go one step further and ask you to consider taking them off of your blog rolls as well. Most of you that I read frequently and that comment here frequently aren't people that I would believe can find any pleasure in what is happening to her.
And please, no comments on writing about worthy causes, etc. At the end of the day, she's a human being--I believe a very broken, very desperate, very lonely human being--despite the circus that surrounds her every waking moment.
I wish her peace, I really, really do.