22 October 2007

Lottery Winnings & The Real Riches

I've been busy filling out all of the paperwork to collect my winnings from the Irish National Lottery. Thank God all of my years of praying came through and I finally got that windfall that I've been hoping for. Life will be so much easier now. All I have to do is use the equity on my house to send in a fee to get the rest of my check, but it'll be a small price pay when I have my money in hand.


So, my computer is on the blink, and by blink, I mean "nearing eternal sleep". I keep trying to convince it to stay awhile longer, but most of the time it's non-respondent. So please don't view my lack of comments to you as non-interest; quite the opposite--but when it takes 3 minutes to load the comment page....well, you know. As soon as I get my check from INL, I'm going to purchase a brand spanking new super-computer, and donate to all of your pay-pal links on your pages, OK? (And you, briar's mom? I'm your publisher).


*****

This weekend while I was at my parent's home, Big A came running up the stairs to tell me that she'd taught herself a tune on the piano. "Great, good for you", I said as I continued washing my face and making sure Little A didn't fall off of the stool she was on while brushing her "teef".


Big A scurried out of the bathroom to go and tell her aunt B the same news. "Good for you" she said while she continued to talk to/manage our other two nieces and nephews, while half listening to Big A, who was still talking about how she taught herself "Axel F". (Yes, that "Axel F", from Beverly Hills Cop)


I almost vomited right there, reality smacking me in the face and pinning me up against the wall so that I had nowhere else to go.


That's what I do with Big A. She's easy to mollify, to appease, to pay half-attention to while I'm dealing with the other things at hand that seem so much more important, typically Little A. Because she acts like such an adult, I've let her become more of one than she should be, because when I don't give her the attention that she should have, she's happy to go and read a book or draw, and so I let her.


I went to listen to her rendition of "Axel F", patting her back and actually giving every ounce of myself to her; to that moment. I know that it cannot be like that, each minute of each day, but I've made a resolution to at least give her some undivided time each day, because I don't do that now. I'm not sure I even believe that "undivided" is real any longer, but I'm bringing it back.


She was my baby once. She was the first to break my heart with her sighs as she laid upon my chest. She taught me the first that I knew of the deepest kind of love. I owe her much more than I've given.


I brought back all of the piano books that I used as a kid, and I'm hoping to somehow get the piano from my parent's home into my home..."Axel F" is just the beginning of really bad songs that I know---my first mastering on the piano was "Making Love Out of Nothing At All".


And the neighbors thought that they hated my 80's music blaring....


I'm hoping this posts when I hit publish and doesn't crash. If it does, so good to be back, and I will remember you all when I'm collecting my funds. Go ahead and send me your mortgage statements, I'll get right on those.


24 comments:

slouching mom said...

Sigh. I do miss your comments. Because they're always so lovely and heartfelt. But I know it's not your fault. Damned computers. Oh, and will you be my publisher, too? I could really use one -- I am not having much luck on my own. ;)

Our firstborns DO have needs. I keep forgetting it, to my (and his) detriment. They will always be our babies, no matter how nastily they talk back to us. Sigh.

Family Adventure said...

I know that guilt too well. We're all like that with our first-borns, I think. They are more independent and can do much more unsupervised, therefore we let them.

I was a first-born, and I remember being proud of being given more responsibility AND more freedom. Hopefully your girl will think so, too!

Lovely post.

- Heidi

Nancy said...

I could only hack out Chopsticks and a duet of Heart and Soul with my sister, but I do love the sound of a child playing piano .... yes, even at the just learning stage.

justabeachkat said...

It's so hard in today's world to give undivided time to anyone, but I know how important it is to try to do just that for everyone, including my husband. Thanks for your gentle reminder.

Hugs!
Kat

B said...

my friend got the notice she won some money too from the INL. Ill have to let her know that she wasnt the only one and that its NOT a scam. I knew the intarweb wouldnt let my friend down!

Janet said...

I'm so sorry to break this to you but I won the INL. ;-)

Hope your computer woes clear up soon; I have missed seeing you around.

Kellan said...

I am also having problems with my desktop computer - slowly trying to die! I'm using my laptop most of the time these days. Sorry to hear yours is also acting up - don't they realize how important they are and that we don't have 3 minutes to waste? I have 2 first borns - so I hear you there! Mine, however, seldom let me forget how important they are (really!) - I like that you are trying - we all need to be reminded to take time for all of our kids. See ya.

Kerry said...

I do the same with my oldest. He's always been so content to play by himself and with a more demanding 2nd I easily let him go off and do his own thing. This post was a good reminder for me to take some extra time to spend with just him. He needs my undivided attention too!

painted maypole said...

i used to play "making love out of nothing at all" on my piano, too! I just may have to dig out that old piano book, now!

just yesterday i said to my husband "hey look, we won the UK lottery!" it amazes me that people fall for the drek.

crazymumma said...

I was just thinking the other night, tossing with insomnia, that my second child did not get enough of me....and what can I do to rectify that as she is on the cusp of six.

KC said...

I have a similar repertoire of bad piano music. We should play a duet.

Christine said...

sometimes i jsut get so busy and i am only listening with one ear, so to speak.

but this weekend my girl and i are having a date. lunch at a restaurant, the theater--really mommy time.

axle f--wow!

flutter said...

Gotta love the Irish!

Love you.

Ally said...

Damn, now you know I'm going to be humming Axel F for the rest of the night. Oh, how I loved that song. And don't I WISH my parents were cool enough to let me play those songs on the piano. It was nothing but classical for me.

MP said...

I haven't won the Irish lottery but some really nice man from Africa is letting me hold some money in an account for him, I'm going to collect a windfall!

PS..I played showtunes.. I can kick booty w/ some Fiddler on the Roof Tunes!

jen said...

dude, i already won that irish lottery like five times. i'm just waiting for the check now.

carrie said...

Oh god, I'd completely forgot until this minute, that the first non-Christmas song I learned on the piano in 5th grade was the theme from Ice Castles. Gag me!

Amy York said...

Damn computers, indeed.
I often brush off my oldest because his needs don't seem as urgent as my youngest... it's better now that they're older but he's definitely had to speak louder to be heard. :(

T with Honey said...

Oooh! The Irish National Lotto!! And all these years I've been wasting my money on the occasional Powerball ticket.

I only have one child and I'm plenty guilty of only giving her half of my attention. Those moments when I stop thinking about everything else and just focus on her are priceless though.
It can be a great pick-me-up to give your little girl a big squeeze, smell her hair, notice the feel of her cheek against yours and her hands wrapped around your neck. It makes me smile just thinking about it.

b*babbler said...

The fear of not being able to split my time, to manage the needs of two children, to give them both the attention that they need is a huge part of why there has no discussion about giving the Peanut a sibling.

And I'm so sorry about the computer. I can relate.

Major Bedhead said...

Hey, I was told *I* was the Irish National Lottery winner. Hmph.

I have to consciously make the effort to give each kid my undivided attention when they need it. I feel guilty when I can't, but there are times when it's just not feasible.

Jacquie said...

Yah mean I wasn't the only one who won the Irish Lotto????? Darn and I don't share well ;-)

bgirl said...

as always, a clever, touching and well-written post.
"i owe her much more than i've given" -- i hear you on this, but near as i can tell, you give so much jenn.

and no joke, i too played (and cannot believe i'm owning up to) the same air supply song on my piano....true story!

Lawyer Mama said...

I've been MIA too, so don't feel bad.

I tend to do that with Big H too. He's just so much more independent than his brother, even though he's less than 2 years older. We all need that reminder sometimes.