I've been busy filling out all of the paperwork to collect my winnings from the Irish National Lottery. Thank God all of my years of praying came through and I finally got that windfall that I've been hoping for. Life will be so much easier now. All I have to do is use the equity on my house to send in a fee to get the rest of my check, but it'll be a small price pay when I have my money in hand.
So, my computer is on the blink, and by blink, I mean "nearing eternal sleep". I keep trying to convince it to stay awhile longer, but most of the time it's non-respondent. So please don't view my lack of comments to you as non-interest; quite the opposite--but when it takes 3 minutes to load the comment page....well, you know. As soon as I get my check from INL, I'm going to purchase a brand spanking new super-computer, and donate to all of your pay-pal links on your pages, OK? (And you, briar's mom? I'm your publisher).
This weekend while I was at my parent's home, Big A came running up the stairs to tell me that she'd taught herself a tune on the piano. "Great, good for you", I said as I continued washing my face and making sure Little A didn't fall off of the stool she was on while brushing her "teef".
Big A scurried out of the bathroom to go and tell her aunt B the same news. "Good for you" she said while she continued to talk to/manage our other two nieces and nephews, while half listening to Big A, who was still talking about how she taught herself "Axel F". (Yes, that "Axel F", from Beverly Hills Cop)
I almost vomited right there, reality smacking me in the face and pinning me up against the wall so that I had nowhere else to go.
That's what I do with Big A. She's easy to mollify, to appease, to pay half-attention to while I'm dealing with the other things at hand that seem so much more important, typically Little A. Because she acts like such an adult, I've let her become more of one than she should be, because when I don't give her the attention that she should have, she's happy to go and read a book or draw, and so I let her.
I went to listen to her rendition of "Axel F", patting her back and actually giving every ounce of myself to her; to that moment. I know that it cannot be like that, each minute of each day, but I've made a resolution to at least give her some undivided time each day, because I don't do that now. I'm not sure I even believe that "undivided" is real any longer, but I'm bringing it back.
She was my baby once. She was the first to break my heart with her sighs as she laid upon my chest. She taught me the first that I knew of the deepest kind of love. I owe her much more than I've given.
I brought back all of the piano books that I used as a kid, and I'm hoping to somehow get the piano from my parent's home into my home..."Axel F" is just the beginning of really bad songs that I know---my first mastering on the piano was "Making Love Out of Nothing At All".
And the neighbors thought that they hated my 80's music blaring....
I'm hoping this posts when I hit publish and doesn't crash. If it does, so good to be back, and I will remember you all when I'm collecting my funds. Go ahead and send me your mortgage statements, I'll get right on those.