06 July 2008
Three, Little A.
Can you believe it?
To think that once upon a time, three was such a questionable number. Three minutes? Three hours? Three days? Three weeks?
And now, three years.
I should have known from the start what a fighter you were, Little A. All the odds that you've already overcome to be here now, lighting up so many worlds with the sunshine from your sweet face.
To think that sometimes now I struggle, not with prayers for your next breath, not with tears of wondering what your future holds, but with tears of joy for the moments that your smile catches me unprepared and leaves me struggling for my next breath--I'm so filled with such complete love for you that at times, I'm literally crushed.
You are my constant reminder, Little A, of how the darkest storms can create the brightest rainbow, of how the despite what common sense and logic might say, that if we listen to what our hearts are whispering to us, we can make it.
And made it, we have, haven't we, sunshine?
Everything about you: your independence, your wit, your laughter, your heart--everything about you makes me such a grateful person, each and every single day of my life.
There are so many eloquent quotes and writings denoting how much a mother gives when she gives life. Someday, possibly, I'll explain to you what life you gave to me; how, in some ways, you saved me, you re-created me.
I love you Little A, so much more that what I can tell you here, or when I'm kissing your face, or embracing you, or smoothing your hair.
I love you beyond love.
And no matter the days or years that pass, no matter the changes that will occur, that will remain as such.