A cold sore?
Fine. I know that I'm not supposed to consume citrus products. BUT it was only like four tablespoons of lemon juice AND I wouldn't have drank it with my water if my abdomen wasn't so bloated from PMS that it hurt to breathe.
The flat tire?
Are you KIDDING ME?
Granted, I'll give you that it was funny to see the look on Big A's face when I told her that we finally got shot at in the ghetto, but it was so not worth it.
Her day had already been destroyed by my horrific acts of mothering, due to sending her to her best friends birthday party at the roller rink without a gift.
Yes, I know that I told her I had the gift. And I told her friends mom that. And we talk to or see them like every.single.day., but the stress of not having the gift caused her to wipe out at the rink, because we all freaking know that there are like ZERO other factors that would cause a ten year old to wipe out in a roller rink full of children.
The wipe out caused emotional trauma, which was compounded at softball practice when she got hit in the leg with the ball, which wouldn't have happened had she brought a gift to the party and been able to focus on fielding. Add to this the utter, total, complete humiliation of people "looking at us" because we were standing next to a car that was a tad tilted--seriously, you crushed her, via me. So thanks for that.
And 29 degrees? Do you OWN a calendar? It is spring. "Sleet" is not a word that should be coming from the weather-persons mouth. April, May and June are the months that I am supposed to be catching up on my monstrous electric bill, Universe. Sure, the words "quaint" and "charming" come to mind when you enter my house, but let me run a few more words by you: "Prostitution" and "Stripper Poles". Because those are the words that come to mind when I open my bill. Seriously, it needs to get warm. Like, today.
In complete sincerity, my deepest thanks for those that I know I can count on; that never faltered; that have been swimming beside me; that answer the phone when I'm standing roadside with a "tilted" car and two little Queens in tow. Please be kind to them and keep them with us.